Monday, August 3, 2009

extreme measures

K & B had a gymnastics camp last week and on the last day of camp, all the kids put on a performance for their families.  It was at 12:00 on Friday, so I figured that Patrick wouldn’t be able to come.  Leaving in the middle of the day (or before 10 pm on an average day) is usually pretty difficult for him.  I knew that K & B would love it if he could come, so I had no other choice—I had to devise a very sneaky and complicated plan.

So what if I invited my neighbor over and while she was there, I all of a sudden pass out, smack my nose on the door frame, then fall back and hit the back of my head on the kitchen door, then fall to the ground and hit my forehead on the wood floor?  While I would lay on the floor passed out for a couple minutes, she would call 911 and the ambulance and fire truck would arrive within a couple minutes.  When I came to, I would tell her to call Patrick and let him know what just transpired, while the paramedics would check my blood pressure, blood sugar, and do an EKG.  Of course, Patrick would be freaked out and immediately rush home.  By the time he would arrive home, I would have already told the paramedics that I didn’t need to go to the hospital and that it was okay for them to leave.  At this point, the performance would have already started, and since someone had to be there to not only see the show but pick K & B up afterwards, he’d have no choice but to come with Emery and I since he’d be too nervous for me to drive.  Sounds like the perfect plan, right?

So, the question is, did it work?

Why, yes.  Yes it did.  Like a charm.

And don’t worry—my nose didn’t end up quite this bad:

image

14 comments:

Emily B. Kerr said...

Oh my gosh!! You're alright, right? I'll try phoning you. Let me know if you need anything.

Mirien said...

You are so creative and self-sacrificing! Anything for the kids, right? Seriously, what's up with the fainting? Could they find any reason for it? And that nose pix is absolutely gory! Hope all is well.

Keepin' up with the Jones' said...

that's the grossest picture ever! i hadn't heard what happened in all that detail! great plan by the way. i hope everything is ok. Glad you didn't break your nose, but glad that Patrick got to see the girls perform a few gymnastic moves! Hope you start to feel better.

Karey said...

Woah! You really freaked me out with that picture! I'm glad your plan worked and I'm also glad that it didn't result in an injury of that magnitude :) Hope you feel better soon!

Jenn-Lee said...

Oh my goodness. So sorry to hear that. Not fun. Feel better soon. (You do have sneaky plans but did you have to be so dramatic?) j/k. Feel better soon. I'll keep you in my payers. :)

Melissa said...

Yikes...did they ever figure out what happened?

Erin said...

you devious little thing! can't wait to see your bumps and bruises.

in all seriousness, i am glad you are okay!

Shirlee said...

So if that isn't you in the picture, then who is it? Sounds pretty wild! Though I don't think I'll ever try that approach!

The Dahle Family said...

Oh, man, I really thought that nose picture was of you! That's absolutely disgusting! Random fainting, huh? I'm just glad your neighbor was there! Emery's bright, but calling 911 would've been a bit of a stretch for her. Isn't it amazing that those prayers for protection really work--your neighbor was right where you needed her to be.

Melayna said...

Boy, that's a crazy story -- I'm trying not to laugh cuz it's serious stuff, but WOW. When was the last time you fainted before this? When we got our ears pierced that day in the mall years and years ago? Did something equally traumatic happen to you that day to trigger this reaction?? Maybe your corset's too tight -- or maybe it's just your extremely delicate constitution. I'm not lady-like enough to faint . . . :-)

merathon said...

okay, sorry i freaked everyone out with that picture, but i was looking for a little shock factor and looks like i got it! that's actually jessica simpson-- apparently she broke her nose while filming a movie a while ago.

as to how i'm doing now, the nose and scrapes and bruises are healing, but it seems that the reason that i probably fainted was because i have been battling a cold that we think has turned into pneumonia. i'm on antibiotics now and hope that i'm getting better, but it's been a rough last few days and i'm not out of the woods yet.

melayna-- where have you been? and you call yourself my SISTER? :) i thought you knew that i've passed out somewhere between 10-15 times in my life (although the first one was the time you remember). usually it's associated with getting my blood drawn or not eating (like fast sunday) or things like that, which is why this time was unexpected.

Dana said...

I am glad you are on the mend. That is very scary. Good thing for neighbors!

JoEllen said...

Thanks for the follow-up comment, I was really worried about you. And glad to know that wasn't a picture of your nose. Hope you are feeling better.

Maren said...

I must be slow, I had to read it a couple times to figure out whether it really happened or whether that was just what you told Patrick to get him to come home. I finally figured it out. Hope you feel better fast.

I need tips on getting rid of ambulance guys. I couldn't talk them out of it.